Voice of Byron regular, Ian Mcglone, shared this very informative documentary about Narcissism and the damage Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) sufferers cause to people in a relationship with a narcissist.
Toungue-in-cheek, Ian asks, “Is Byron Bay a hotbed for the morally insane?”
The Hallmarks of Narcissistic Abuse
Are you experiencing intense levels of adrenaline, anxiety and even rage that swings down into bleak depression without any reason whatsoever?
Do you find yourself acting strangely, becoming uncharacteristically defensive or confrontational?
Red Flags of an Abusive Relationship
Whirlwind Romance
Also called the “love bombing” phase.The person presents themselves as the perfect manifestation of everything you could ever want in a partner. By scanning and mirroring your “core values” they can effectively slip past your ego defences and wheedle their way straight into the most intimate vulnerable core space with unprecedented rapidity.
Too Much, Too Soon
My relationship, like most of the relationship stories I hear from clients, escalated far too fast. We were effectively living together within less than a week. The rapid erosion of the target’s boundaries and the de facto “boundary blurring” of the couple as two separate individuals is frequently far too fast and too extreme in emotionally abusive relationships. This is simply because it suits the agenda of the predator.
Pronounced Feelings of Doubt and Anxiety
The “button pushing” phase. At some point the predatory narcissist has to start deliberately pushing your buttons to learn what really hurts you, to control you, to scan your inner emotional vulnerabilities more effectively to dominate you and to begin what is called the “trauma bonding” process of mixed pain and pleasure so that the victim becomes addicted to the narcissists presence.
Isolation from Support Network
The “divide and conquer” strategy. The narcissist needs the victim vulnerable and alone so they can brainwash them more effectively. It does NOT suit the narcissist’s agenda to have the victim getting differing points of view, feedback or reality checks from others outside of the “two-person cult” the narcissist is trying to run.
Erosion of Values
The “up is down, in is out” strategy. Through subtle threats, manipulation, “poisoning the well”, gaslighting, passive abuse or outright shaming, mockery, and guilt tripping the narcissist can train the victim to start to doubt the validity of their own core values and indeed their own self-image and self-worth. The victim over time begins to despair and their ego defences begin to fragment causing them to lose a sense of who they are and to act “totally out of character”. If you have people who have known you for a while expressing concern or telling you that you aren’t acting like yourself, this is a major red flag.
Are You Suffering from Abuse by Someone with NPD?
Here are some videos by Kim Saeed which will provide valuable help to you.
- 6 Strong Signs You Have Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome
- Why Narcissists Discard You at the Worst Possible Times
- 7 Sneaky Things Narcissists Say to Get You Back
- Things Narcissists Don’t Want You to Know
Kim helps victims of malignant narcissistic abuse detach from love that hurts so they can gain confidence, rediscover their passion, feel peace, and add years to their lives.
Kim is the author of How to Do No Contact Like a Boss! and is founder of the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery site, Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed