THE NEWLY elected Byron Shire Council will not push to change Byron Bay’s name to ‘Far North Bondi.’
But Voice of Byron has established, after speaking with possible Councillors who wish to remain nameless until the results are in, there are absolutely no plans afoot to rename our iconic town.
“There are no plans afoot to rename our iconic town,” they all said.
According to a satirical article in Australia’s “oldest and best-loved newspaper”, The Betoota Advocate, “Indie-Australian brother-sister folk rock duo Angus and Julia Stone are just two of many high-profile expatriated Sydneysiders currently campaigning for Byron Bay to be renamed ‘Far North Bondi’.
Betoota Advocate story claims Angus and Julia Stone “join hundreds – nearly a thousand – fashion designers, jewellery designers, surfboard designers and professional Instagrammers who had previously lived in Bondi for about 6-12 months before relocating to the far cheaper and eco-friendly beach town in North New South Wales.”
“Once upon a time this was a normal beach town. Now it’s a hub for anti-vaccination and hydroponic marijuana.”
According to The Betoota Advocate, Angus Stone says it’s a ‘no-brainer’ in his interview with them.
”I mean, Queensland is named after the Queen – and she’s only visited the place like three times,”
”Byron is literally full of Bondinese – it only makes sense that our nickname ‘Far North Bondi’ should be the official name.
“It’s just paying tribute to the people that actually live there,”
“To be honest the old name is a little bit bogan. Have you ever met someone called Byron? They are usually a bit bogan,”
The ‘white flight’ of Caucasian hipsters from the increasingly family-friendly Bondi Beach to Byron Bay has been well documented over the last five years, with many disappointed parents throughout the country providing an endless source of cash for their children to briefly pursue their dreams of whatever they are interested in this month.
Third-generation Byron carpenter, Tim Hartnell, says if the place gets renamed Far North Bondi – he’ll probably end up in prison again.
“They are really taking over this place, mate. I’ve just about had it” he said.
“Once upon a time this was a normal beach town. Now it’s a hub for anti-vaccination and hydroponic marijuana.”
“They’ve left Bondi because they can’t afford it, and now they are forcing their wheatgrass and cocaine socialism on all of us. I can’t even go to the pub anymore without hearing those fvcking bongo drums”